Auto Sales Recruiting Infomercial

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Auto Sales Recruiting Infomercial
We’ve all seen those real estate infomercials: “Get Rich in Real Estate”, “Make Millions in Real Estate with No Money Down!” “How Real Estate Reverses Global Warming” or “Creating World Peace Through Real Estate”. Why are we in the auto industry so far behind the curve? We could do some great recruiting with infomercials. I can just imagine…
(Intro) Still photos of jewelry, luxury cars, exotic beaches and mansions flash across the TV screen as the announcer’s deep, rich voice asks, “Not living the life you want? Still have too much month left at the end of your paycheck? Live the life of luxury that you so richly deserve. “How?” You ask. The answer is simple: Get in the car business. You may say that you’ve tried sales before and it wasn’t for you. You don’t have the drive or ambition it takes to get ahead in a competitive industry like auto sales. With H. Warren Trumperklink’s powerful program “Selling Cars for Slouches”, you don’t need any drive or ambition of your own. You use others to get the money and the lifestyle you desire. And now to tell you all about this revolutionary, earth shattering and life changing program here’s the founder, H. Warren Trumperklink!” (Host runs on stage to the sound of canned applause)
Host: Hi and welcome! I’m H. Warren Trumperklink and I’d like to thank you for joining our program. The fact that you are here in our studio audience or you are one of the millions of people tuning in all over the world and throughout the galaxy tells me that you are not satisfied with your current lifestyle. And though you aren’t completely happy with your current status you, quite frankly, don’t care enough to actually do anything about it. Am I right? Well, you are in the right place folks because the incredible program I’ve developed will require very little effort on your part. “Little effort?” You ask skeptically. Yes, little effort. Now you may be wondering if it takes minimal effort to get rich and have all of the material possessions I’ve ever wanted, why aren’t more people doing it? The answer is really quite simple: They’re sleeping right now! Depending on your time zone this program is airing between midnight and four am. Most people have jobs to go to in the morning. But, not you! You are a special breed. You are not the status quo; you’re an elite group. We specifically chose this time slot to weed out any undesirables. We are not looking for someone who wants to put their nose to the grindstone and push and work and sweat their way to success. No, we aren't looking for self-starters. You are the right people to implement my dynamic, “Selling Cars for Slouches” program. Don’t let the title offend you. Be honest and embrace who you are. For some of you that will require putting down your bag of chips and glass of soda or you can just wait till you finish. The point is, don’t be afraid or ashamed of whom you are, be proud of it! The biggest question for a slouch, aside from “Who put the TV remote way over there?” is how can I utilize my lethargy and lack of motivation to make millions of dollars and get lots of stuff? My revolutionary program, “Selling Cars for Slouches” is for you.
As I was driving my Jaguar down to the studio I thought I might be late, after all, the Ferrari’s in the shop. However, I looked at my Rolex and realized I had some extra time. I decided to stop at my favorite haberdashery pick up a more casual wardrobe for today’s filming. Some out there might say, “H. Warren, that suit looks pretty spiffy to be called casual.” Friends, I used to relax in sweat suits and stained t-shirts. Now I relax in an Armani suit! And it’s all because of the principles from “Selling Cars for Slouches.” The beauty of this program is you don’t need any selling experience, drive or motivation, just a sincere desire to have money. The secret is in using the drive, ambition, talent and experience of someone else. That’s right; let someone else do the work for you. Multi-level marketing has been cashing in on this type of philosophy for years. Incorporating it into auto sales is the paradigm-shift for which the world has waited.
Step 1 of the program: Go down to your local car dealership and get hired as a salesperson. Most dealerships have a “got a pulse; got a job” hiring policy so there shouldn’t be a problem but some of you may want to keep your defibrillator handy, just in case. *Side note: The nicer the showroom usually the nicer you’ll have to dress. So, if your “nice clothes” are the ones with the least amount of identifiable stains or you haven’t updated your wardrobe since you bought those parachute pants and that satin shirt, stick to used car lots with names like Carz R Us or Hoopty Town.
Step 2: Now that you are hired and considered a green-pea you can put my program to work. Don’t let the word work scare you. It’s not you that will be working; it’s your co-workers and my program. The most effective technique in Slouch Selling is the “Hello T.O.” A hello T.O. or handshake turn over is where you simply greet a customer on the lot and immediately turn them over to another sales rep. Now that rep will do all of the work and you get half the commission! As time passes you will have to become a little savvier. You may need to spend a little time with some customers to give the appearance of attempting to sell but fear not. You don’t have to actually try. No, just talk to the people about anything: Your kids, their kids, the weather, sports or your favorite snack food. Then you run inside and grab another salesperson and say, “Dude, I need a turn, they’re asking a bunch of technical questions I can’t answer.” If this other salesperson has spent any time with you at all, they’ll know it’s true. Other good panic-turn lines are: They’re asking about financing or they don’t speak very good English (if you have a bi-lingual person to whom you can turn. Big plus if they speak the language of your customer’s country of origin) or my appointment will be here any minute. These are most effective when done in the presence of a manager. There is a perceived sense of urgency by your body language and a manager usually won’t let someone refuse a turn. The challenge with using only this step of the program is that you can wear out your welcome. This could lead to you having to frequently change dealerships and, let's be honest here, constant moving does not play to a slouch's core strengths. So, to optimize the program you must implement...
Step 3: Become the lunch lackey. A great saying in the car business is "You fly, I'll buy." This means someone is offering to buy you lunch if you will go pick it up. Simply reverse the phrasing and you are in. You say, "I'll fly..." and wait for a moment a hungry co-worker will reach into their pocket and say, "I'll buy." You are accomplishing two vital things in this step. First of all, you're getting free food for driving to a restaurant which will add to your net worth and your net weight: second, you are building your value and thus job security. You will get optimum results if you make yourself the manager's lunch lackey. Then, no matter how many complaints the other salespeople have about you your manager will comment on what a good person you are and they (the manager) will speak to you about your hello T.O.s etc. If the manager gives you a verbal warning it will be one of those sympathetic and pleading talks like, “C’mon man. You've gotta try a little harder. The guys are complaining." In a whiny voice like your dad used to use when he wanted you to stop what you were doing because it was upsetting your mom. Which was ruining his chances of any kind of "fun" that evening. *A bonus benefit of becoming a manager’s lunch lackey is getting to the top of the “spoon-list”. A “spoon deal” and is usually a friend or past customer of a manager that is typically a done deal looking for a salesperson’s name to go in the commission line of the computer. You want to be that guy. Also getting your name on “house deals” (employee purchases) can lead you towards the pinnacle of prosperity without perspiration.
Listen to this testimonial. “Hi, I am Earl Weeberhawkin and I am a slouch. I come from a long line of slouches. I thought that being a slouch meant that I would be condemned to a life of bounced checks, cable theft and sharing a bed with my 7 dogs. That was until I applied the basic principles of H. Warren Trumperklink’s “Selling Cars for Slouches”. This program made me realize that, as a slouch, I still had potential. I wanted to be the best slouch I could be…without tryin’ too hard. You understand. Well I’m proud to say that I now own a TV that is wider than what my doublewide used to be. Also, my dogs each have their own bed. I must admit, I still do steal the cable signal. Not ‘cuz I can’t afford it though. I just like to keep it real, you know? But none of this could have been possible without H. Warren’s program. I have hello T.O.’d and been spooned my way to success and so can you.” Earl is just one of thousands of people using the vast resources of others to get what they want. To get the remaining steps and the full "Selling Cars for Slouches" program on DVD call the number on the screen or e-mail us at the address listed. The whole program is available on DVD or CD, I'd have written a book but then I probably wouldn't be a slouch would I?
For those who feel this program is too advanced for them you can order my even simpler "Selling Cars for Slouches for Dummies".